Funny the things that *don't* terrify you, terrify me: cycling at speed down a mountainside, for instance. I have rowed the mighty Mississippi with a freighter as my companion and not given it a second thought. Attempt to let loose on a hillside whilst sitting on a bike with no exoskeleton and I hyperventilate.
You know me, we rowed together for a long time; I never once worried that we couldn't get ourselves out of any danger we encountered while on the water (and there was never much, at least as I far as I can remember). But - but - when I have followed you down mountain roads on two skinny wheels, I've been pretty sure that I was going to die. I do it because, like you, I've decided that to *not* face that fear would rob me of some great experiences...just doesn't mean I am always going to enjoy them in the moment!
I think it's so interesting to see what each person's (irrational) fear turns out to be. I will never understand how you could row on so wide a river with such an enormous vessel near you. Never! I definitely agree with you on the concept that not facing fear(s) would deprive one of wonderful experiences. And the very fact of facing down the fear and overcoming it is in itself a wonderful thing. As you and I both know from the wise words of CB: chop in the Basin is what you -need- in order to get better.
I can so relate to this because it expresses how I feel about driving highways (which I used to do). I've just started a new approach...will report back if it works.
I know that fear well from rowing (and kayaking in Ha Long Bay!). And now I have another, equal fear on my mountain bike, bumping down steep trails riddled with big pointy rocks and slippery sloping roots.
I have been known to close my eyes just to believe I can do it.
I think my personal definition of fun is inextricably linked to the degree to which I have of overcome my strongest mental willies.
I agree. There is fun in the challenge, in finding the edge and getting yourself to take it on, mentally, and succeed. What to do when the edge suddenly moves closer, as in a moment of truly irrational and perhaps even sudden panic? I do my deep breathing and my just-keep-swimming/Dory-esque approach, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming!
I was afraid of water BEFORE Jaws came out. I have done canoeing, sailing, and yes, some rafting on rivers in serious water. I do like to confront the fear, yet you could probably NOT convince me to get into a rowing scull. Like Judy, I also get "wiggy" with heights.
It's the irrational fears that get us, though, right? I had never seen Jaws until three years ago, because I was afraid I'd never swim again. The Poseidon Adventure's upside down boat with the keel exposed to the air is another image that haunts me. And again, I think it's a question of proportion or scale or something. You're not -supposed- to see a ship's keep like that!
We sail about 6mos a year in the Gulf of Maine, sometimes miles off shore with nothing to relate to spatially. I totally empathize with feeling small. Perversely I like to read disasters at sea when we are sailing Ironically it makes me feel safe.
Fear, however is real for me when it comes to heights. Honestly, there are times when standing on a chair can feel like a risky enterprise. And let’s just not get started about riding a chairlift to ski. Perhaps my hands never get cold skiing because my palms are always sweating!! I am totally enamored with skinning, probably as an opaque form of risk management.
One of the truly interesting things about irrational fear is how transient it can be. There are days when I feel that only a sissy would put the safety bar down on a chairlift- and the next lap I am clinging to the safety bar for salvation.
In the dark rattling of fear, there is also something life affirming about “surviving” the emotion. Okay, maybe not that life affirming when I’m shaking like a leaf standing on a chair. But the conquering your fears part. On the other side of fear isn’t there just a little exhilaration?
Judy! This is so lovely and true: "In the dark rattling of fear, there is also something life affirming about “surviving” the emotion." I absolutely agree with you. There is a way to sort of titrate fear so that the experience of the terrifying thing can (in theory) become an experience of success. I say that about mountain biking, which makes me very nervous (all those trees! all those rocks!). If I manage the trail selection carefully enough, I can have a good ride where the fear is managed as adrenaline, and that's my way of accumulating success. I can take that successful experience into the next ride. I've been trying to do that with the wide water, using the visits to the Basin as examples to myself that are reassuring (see? you didn't die/flip/drown). And yes, like a lot of pain, irrational fear can indeed be transient. Thank goodness.
And one more description of an achievement that, to me, seems like it would be downright terrifying. Though I suppose you're saying that it -was- terrifying, and worth the terror :-)
Funny the things that *don't* terrify you, terrify me: cycling at speed down a mountainside, for instance. I have rowed the mighty Mississippi with a freighter as my companion and not given it a second thought. Attempt to let loose on a hillside whilst sitting on a bike with no exoskeleton and I hyperventilate.
You know me, we rowed together for a long time; I never once worried that we couldn't get ourselves out of any danger we encountered while on the water (and there was never much, at least as I far as I can remember). But - but - when I have followed you down mountain roads on two skinny wheels, I've been pretty sure that I was going to die. I do it because, like you, I've decided that to *not* face that fear would rob me of some great experiences...just doesn't mean I am always going to enjoy them in the moment!
I think it's so interesting to see what each person's (irrational) fear turns out to be. I will never understand how you could row on so wide a river with such an enormous vessel near you. Never! I definitely agree with you on the concept that not facing fear(s) would deprive one of wonderful experiences. And the very fact of facing down the fear and overcoming it is in itself a wonderful thing. As you and I both know from the wise words of CB: chop in the Basin is what you -need- in order to get better.
I can so relate to this because it expresses how I feel about driving highways (which I used to do). I've just started a new approach...will report back if it works.
I know that fear well from rowing (and kayaking in Ha Long Bay!). And now I have another, equal fear on my mountain bike, bumping down steep trails riddled with big pointy rocks and slippery sloping roots.
I have been known to close my eyes just to believe I can do it.
I think my personal definition of fun is inextricably linked to the degree to which I have of overcome my strongest mental willies.
Love this!!
I agree. There is fun in the challenge, in finding the edge and getting yourself to take it on, mentally, and succeed. What to do when the edge suddenly moves closer, as in a moment of truly irrational and perhaps even sudden panic? I do my deep breathing and my just-keep-swimming/Dory-esque approach, but sometimes it just gets overwhelming!
I was afraid of water BEFORE Jaws came out. I have done canoeing, sailing, and yes, some rafting on rivers in serious water. I do like to confront the fear, yet you could probably NOT convince me to get into a rowing scull. Like Judy, I also get "wiggy" with heights.
It's the irrational fears that get us, though, right? I had never seen Jaws until three years ago, because I was afraid I'd never swim again. The Poseidon Adventure's upside down boat with the keel exposed to the air is another image that haunts me. And again, I think it's a question of proportion or scale or something. You're not -supposed- to see a ship's keep like that!
We sail about 6mos a year in the Gulf of Maine, sometimes miles off shore with nothing to relate to spatially. I totally empathize with feeling small. Perversely I like to read disasters at sea when we are sailing Ironically it makes me feel safe.
Fear, however is real for me when it comes to heights. Honestly, there are times when standing on a chair can feel like a risky enterprise. And let’s just not get started about riding a chairlift to ski. Perhaps my hands never get cold skiing because my palms are always sweating!! I am totally enamored with skinning, probably as an opaque form of risk management.
One of the truly interesting things about irrational fear is how transient it can be. There are days when I feel that only a sissy would put the safety bar down on a chairlift- and the next lap I am clinging to the safety bar for salvation.
In the dark rattling of fear, there is also something life affirming about “surviving” the emotion. Okay, maybe not that life affirming when I’m shaking like a leaf standing on a chair. But the conquering your fears part. On the other side of fear isn’t there just a little exhilaration?
Judy! This is so lovely and true: "In the dark rattling of fear, there is also something life affirming about “surviving” the emotion." I absolutely agree with you. There is a way to sort of titrate fear so that the experience of the terrifying thing can (in theory) become an experience of success. I say that about mountain biking, which makes me very nervous (all those trees! all those rocks!). If I manage the trail selection carefully enough, I can have a good ride where the fear is managed as adrenaline, and that's my way of accumulating success. I can take that successful experience into the next ride. I've been trying to do that with the wide water, using the visits to the Basin as examples to myself that are reassuring (see? you didn't die/flip/drown). And yes, like a lot of pain, irrational fear can indeed be transient. Thank goodness.
And one more description of an achievement that, to me, seems like it would be downright terrifying. Though I suppose you're saying that it -was- terrifying, and worth the terror :-)